Ah, Daylight Savings Time is tonight. YES, tonight is the night. Are you ready? Let me remind all of my beautiful people who read my blog…Twice a year here in the United States (minus Arizona & Hawaii), we all lose a scrap of our sanity, because someone, somewhere, decided our clocks needed a workout. Around this time of year, I always wonder why anyone thinks it’s a good idea to keep daylight savings time a thing. Our lives are thrown into chaos, all so we can “save daylight.” I don’t even know what that means. Are we storing it somewhere? A daylight bank? Because I’d like to withdraw some daylight around January & February, when 4 PM looks like the apocalypse.

First of all, nobody knows when the time is actually changing. Is it 2 AM? Midnight? I don’t know. Neither do you. All we do know is, at some ungodly hour, our clocks magically shift by one hour, and suddenly half of us are showing up places an hour early, while the other half are still in bed, drooling on their pillows. You try to set an alarm to remember the change, but then the alarm changes with the time change, and now your phone is gaslighting you. You panic—did I sleep in? Is this the new time? Is it yesterday? Time as we know it collapses into a black hole.

For a solid week after, everyone’s a zombie. You know that groggy, jetlag feeling you get after an international flight. You didn’t even leave the couch, and here you are, slapping your alarm clock like it just betrayed you in a soap opera. Meanwhile, your pets are even more confused. Dogs are practically rioting in the streets for their breakfast an hour “late,” and cats couldn’t care less, glaring with judgment as if to say, “This is why humans don’t deserve to run the planet.”

Then there’s the unholy dance of adjusting every single clock. Phones handle it, sure, but your oven? It’s forever stuck in the wrong time, mocking you every time you walk into the kitchen. Some clocks you don’t even realize need changing until three weeks later when you’re late to an appointment because you were reading the clock on the microwave, or the one in your car. I never change the clock in my car!! LOL. It’s finally going to show the right time after tonight.

And what’s the point? “More sunlight in the evening!” they say. Yeah, because nothing says “fun” like looking out at darkness at 5:30 PM, wondering if you accidentally fell into a time warp. Those evening hours just turn into pitch-black winter afternoons really quick. Thank you, daylight savings, for making seasonal depression start at 4 PM. The real kicker? Nobody actually likes this! There’s no big daylight savings fan club out there petitioning for more hours. Farmers don’t need it. We’re not helping crops grow; it’s just making it easier for us to stumble around like disoriented zombies twice a year.

All I’m saying is, daylight savings time may have made sense when people wore top hats and owned butter churns, but maybe it’s time we retire the whole charade. Can we just stop the madness? Let’s unite as a people, grab all our clocks, and hurl them into the ocean. No more “falling back” or “springing forward.” Let us be free to roam in the endless monotony of standard time. Because really, who needs a government-mandated jetlag twice a year? Let’s save ourselves, forget daylight, and get back to living in peace—at least until our oven clocks revolt.