I had to learn something about prayer the hard way. For years I prayed with expectation, not expectation in God, but expectation in how I wanted Him to respond. I prayed with my own script in mind. I prayed assuming God would follow the storyline I imagined. And when He did not, I used to feel confused, disappointed, and honestly, a little heartbroken.
But with time, God gently shifted my perspective. I realized that God answering my prayers was never the problem. The problem was that I expected His answers to fit my vision.
God is not limited by my imagination. His thoughts are higher, His ways are wiser, and He sees the full picture when I can only see a small corner of it. So I stopped praying with the mindset of controlling the outcome and started praying with a heart that trusted the One I was talking to.
That shift changed everything for me.
Prayer is Relationship, Not a Request Form
A lot of us approach prayer with a quiet expectation that if we say the right words and believe hard enough, God will give us exactly what we asked for. I have been there many times.
But God is a Father, not a vending machine, or a genie.
He listens to our cries, our longings, and our honest conversations. But He also guides, corrects, and redirects us when needed.
When we treat prayer like a relationship instead of a transaction, we open our hearts to whatever God wants to do. Not just what we want Him to do.
Scripture:
The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.
Psalm 145:18
This verse comforts me because it reminds me that God hears me. But it also gently nudges me to approach Him with honesty, not with demands dressed up like devotion.
When God Says No and It Breaks Your Heart
There is no gentle way to wrap this truth. Sometimes God says no. And sometimes that no comes in a way that takes the breath from your lungs.
I remember sitting in a hospital room in 2014, praying one of the most desperate prayers I have ever prayed. I prayed for my son to be alive. I prayed with a trembling voice, with my heart in pieces, begging God for a miracle. I kept hoping any moment the doctors would find a heartbeat and change their tone with different news. But the news never changed. I was experiencing a stillbirth, and my son was gone.
There are no words that make that kind of pain easier- the death of a child, no matter the age and no matter the circumstance. There is no perfect scripture that makes the grief instantly make sense. Death can shake everything. Your faith. Your hope. Your understanding of God. I felt the weight of that no in the deepest part of who I am… and that wasn’t the first time I’ve experienced the death of someone close to me or felt the weight of it.
But over time, God began showing me things I could not see through the shock and heartbreak. He showed me that He was not punishing me. He showed me that He had not abandoned me. I learned that even when I felt shattered, God was still near. In that circumstance and many, many others, He sat with me through nights when I cried until I was exhausted. He carried me through days when I did not know how to keep going.
I learned compassion on a different level. I learned how to hold space for others in their pain because I truly understood what deep sorrow feels like. I learned that faith is not proven by the blessings you receive, but by the courage it takes to keep coming to God when life has broken you apart. I learned that God can handle my questions, my tears, and even my confusion. He never walked away from me, even when all I could offer Him was my silence and my pain.
Scripture:
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:9
Paul prayed three times for his thorn to be removed and God still said no. Not out of cruelty, but out of a deeper purpose. And although my journey is not the same as Paul’s, some of the deepest truths I now carry were born from that heartbreaking no.
When God Says Not Yet and You Feel Stuck Waiting
Waiting seasons have a way of draining you if you are not careful. It can feel like nothing is moving, nothing is changing, and nothing is improving. You pray, you fast, you journal, and still, the answer does not come.
But God works in timing, not tension. We feel pressure because we want things quickly. God works at a pace that produces purpose, not panic. Waiting is not wasted. God uses these seasons to strengthen you, to shape you, and sometimes to heal you before the next chapter begins.
Scripture:
But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.
Isaiah 40:31
Waiting does not mean God is ignoring you. It often means God is preparing you.
God’s Yes Looks Different From Yours
One of the things that surprised me in my walk with God is that His yes does not always look like the yes I imagined.
You pray for a relationship, and God gives you healing instead.
You pray for a specific job, and God opens a door you never even considered.
You pray for restoration, and God gently releases you from what was hurting you.
You pray for peace in a situation, and God gives you peace about walking away.
God answers prayers in the way that truly serves your purpose and your soul. Not simply your emotions or your immediate desires.
Scripture:
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
God’s yes expands beyond our imagination.
You Can Pray Boldly and Still Surrender
One of the strongest truths I have learned is that you can pray with boldness and still surrender the outcome. You can ask God for anything, but you can also trust that He will give what is best.
Trust does not mean you stop wanting things. It means you believe that God wants the absolute best for you, even when His best looks different from your plan.
Scripture:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Proverbs 3:5
Surrender is not giving up. It is giving God room to work.
Your Job is Prayer. God’s Job is the Answer.
This truth relieved so much pressure in my life. My responsibility is to pray, to stay connected to God, and to keep my heart open. It is not my responsibility to control the outcome or predict how God will move.
God is faithful, but He is also creative. He will answer, but rarely in the neat, predictable way we imagine.
Sometimes differently is better.
Sometimes differently is safer.
Sometimes differently is exactly what your soul needed even if your heart did not know to ask for it.
A Prayer for Trusting God’s Answers
Father, I come to You with an open heart.
Teach me to pray with trust instead of control.
Help me release my expectations and embrace Your wisdom.
When You say no, comfort me with Your presence.
When You say not yet, strengthen me with patience.
When You say yes, help me recognize it even if it looks different from what I pictured.
Heal the places where disappointment lives in my heart.
Hold the memories and the grief I carry, especially the parts I do not always speak about.
Grow my faith so I trust Your heart more than my understanding.
Thank You for hearing me.
Thank You for loving me.
And thank You for always answering in the way that is best for me.
Amen.
Leave a Reply