I used to think forgiveness was something that came easily to people who were really strong in their faith. You know, the kind who could smile through hurt and say, “It’s fine, I’ve let it go.” But the truth is, forgiveness has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to learn. It’s messy, it’s emotional, and it takes more strength than I sometimes feel like I have.

There have been times when someone’s words or actions cut so deep that I swore I would never forget them. I told myself I was over it, but deep down, I wasn’t. I was still carrying it. Still replaying what happened, still feeling the sting of it all.

Then I think of Jesus. Hanging on the cross, beaten, betrayed, humiliated, and still He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Every time I think about that, it breaks me a little and heals me a lot. That is love. That is grace. And that is what He calls us to live out.

Grace Is Where Forgiveness Begins

Forgiving like Jesus doesn’t start with willpower. It starts with grace.

When I think about how many times I’ve fallen short and how many times God has met me with mercy instead of judgment, I can’t help but be humbled. I’ve messed up, I’ve spoken in anger, I’ve failed to love like I should. Yet every single time, God forgives me.

So when someone hurts me, I have to remind myself that grace doesn’t stop with me. Forgiveness isn’t about saying what they did was okay; it’s about letting go so the pain doesn’t keep its grip on my heart. It’s choosing peace over bitterness.

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” That verse always reminds me that I’ve received more grace than I could ever deserve, and now I get to give a little of that same grace away.

The Weight of Unforgiveness

Holding on to unforgiveness feels like carrying a heavy backpack that never comes off. It weighs you down even when you think you’ve moved on. I used to tell myself I was fine, that I had let things go, but deep down, the anger and resentment were still there, quietly stealing my peace.

Unforgiveness doesn’t protect your heart; it keeps it wounded. It doesn’t bring justice; it steals joy. It doesn’t heal; it holds you hostage.

I’ve learned that letting go doesn’t mean the other person gets away with what they did. It means I’m trusting God to handle what I can’t. Jesus never said forgiveness would be easy, but He did promise that it would set us free.

Forgiveness Takes Time

Forgiveness isn’t a one-time event. Sometimes you have to keep forgiving the same person for the same thing until your heart finally catches up. I used to think forgiveness meant I had to feel better instantly, but I’ve learned that it’s a process.

Peter once asked Jesus how many times we should forgive someone. “Seven times?” he asked. Jesus replied, “Not seven times, but seventy times seven.” In other words, keep forgiving. Keep letting go. Keep choosing grace.

There are still days when I whisper, “Lord, help me forgive again,” and He does. Slowly, gently, He reminds me that I don’t have to do it on my own.

Forgiving Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you forget what happened or that you have to trust them again right away. Forgiveness and boundaries can exist together. Maybe I should repeat this… Forgiveness and boundaries can exist TOGETHER. You can love someone and still protect your peace. Don’t let anyone, especially the one that hurt you, tell you otherwise.

I used to think forgiveness meant pretending everything was fine, but now I know it’s okay to admit that it hurt. It’s okay to say, “That broke me, but it didn’t destroy me.”

Forgiveness doesn’t erase the memory; it redeems it. It allows you to look back and say, “God used that to make me stronger.”

Letting God Heal What You Can’t

There have been moments when forgiving felt impossible. Moments when I wanted to hold on to the anger because it felt safer than letting go. But the truth is, that kind of anger only builds walls between me and the peace God wants to give.

When I finally brought my pain to God and said, “I don’t know how to forgive this,” He started to soften my heart in ways I didn’t expect. Healing doesn’t always come fast or loud. Sometimes it happens slowly, through prayer, through tears, through the quiet work of the Holy Spirit.

God can heal what people broke. He can bring peace where there was once only pain.

Don’t Forget to Forgive Yourself

This part took me a long time to understand; forgiveness isn’t only about others. It’s also about forgiving yourself.

I’ve held on to guilt from things God already forgave me for. I’ve replayed mistakes in my mind, wondering how I could have done things differently. But grace doesn’t stop at the cross; it flows into every corner of our lives, including the corners we try to hide from ourselves.

If God can forgive you, who are you not to forgive yourself?

When you refuse to forgive yourself, you’re carrying a burden Jesus already died to take away. You can’t live in freedom while holding on to shame. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean pretending the past didn’t happen. It means accepting that God’s grace is bigger than your worst moment.

You are not what you did. You are who God says you are… forgiven, loved, and redeemed.

The Freedom of Forgiving Like Jesus

Forgiveness doesn’t just free the other person. It frees you. It opens your heart to joy again. It makes space for love and peace to grow where bitterness once lived.

Forgiving like Jesus is not weakness. It’s strength. It’s courage. It’s choosing to reflect His love even when it hurts.

Every time you choose forgiveness, you are becoming more like Him. You are living proof that grace still works, and that love really does win.

Prayer:
Lord, help me to forgive like You forgive me. You see my heart, you know where it hurts, and You understand the things I can’t put into words. Teach me to release the pain, to choose grace over anger, and to trust You with what I cannot change. Thank You for never giving up on me. Amen.

Reflection Questions, feel free to answer these in the comment section, as I would love to hear from you!

1. Who is God asking you to forgive right now?
2. What would freedom look like if you truly let go of that hurt?
3. How has God’s forgiveness changed the way you see others?
4. What steps can you take to create peace and still keep healthy boundaries?
5. How can your story of forgiveness help someone else find healing?