Warning – this post might seem as though I’m rambling; and I probably will be. Bare with me <3

Hi all. Well, this is a kind of tough blog post I’m writing tonight. I kind of debated on doing so, but when I’m upset, writing tends to help me at least a little bit, so here I go.

This coming Tuesday I’ll be making my first visit to an Hematology Oncologist. To make things short and bitter sweet, I have numerous enlarged lymph nodes all throughout my neck, cheek area, collarbone area and atleast one underarm. Also, my white blood cell count is pretty much shot, and my Sed Rate is quite elevated. I’m not one to jump to conclusions much (and my pcp kindly warned me not to) but I’m leaning on me having some type of lymphoma or possibly multiple myeloma (the very last type of cancer I want to have). I guess time will tell.

So how did I get to this point? Let’s take a scroll down memory lane….

A few years ago it all started with my white blood cell count slowly getting lower and lower with each doctor appointment that I had. It would be 5.5, then 4.2, then 3.6, then back up to 8 and back down again. It was watched but not much else done because everything else I was tested for, including the protein electrophoresis would come back normal every single time.

Then one day at work my back went out in 2017. I was just in so much pain I could barely walk. When I went to the hospital, I was told I had nothing but a bit of degenerative disk disease, after an xray. A bit of protein was also found in my urine, and so a UTI was suspected and I was put on antibiotics as well.

Starting in late 2018, I started feeling a fullness under my left rib. It would never go away. I can still feel it most days of the week. I also had an issue with constipation for years but it seemed to have gotten much worse. I ended up getting referred to a Gastroenterology specialist for this, and after a clear colonoscopy and endoscopy, I was diagnosed with IBS-Constipation since the only thing that could be found was a very slow moving gut on CT-Scan. All my organs including the spleen were normal.

I started catching colds more easily. I caught strep twice in one year, once turning into bronchitis. I also had a dry cough that lingered for months. Then the following winter the cough came back. Because of the symptoms I had, I was diagnosed with cough variant asthma for that and put on Montelukast.

Someone else started to notice that I was bruising easily. This is something I usually brushed off because it’s been that way as long as I can remember. Later on they also mentioned the fact that I was scratching myself a lot, something else I was totally oblivious to. I was also starting to feel tired or wore out more easily than before.

My back started bothering me again in early 2020 so I went back to the doctor for that, got another CT, and was told that I had a slipped disk, pinched nerve and some curvature of the spine (mild scoliosis). I have no idea when these injuries were made. I opted to start seeing a chiropractor for that rather than go to pain management or physical therapy.

I also had more blood work done at the same time since I was due, and again, my white blood cell count was low – 3.12 this time. I found out by reading my tests on my patient portal (today, might I add) that a message was supposed to be relayed to me in February of 2020 suggesting that I be referred to hematology at the time I was told my blood results, but for some reason (probably just error) I was never told that extra piece of information.

I had a followup appointment the next month (in March 2020) regarding my tiredness and was put on iron since I was now newly anemic as well. A possible referral to hematology was again, not mentioned. I was told to come back in 3 months for a check up regarding my blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

Fast forward to May 8th, when for some reason the area around my left ear felt weird. When I ran my fingers across my neck, I felt a hard lump underneath my earlobe going into my cheek. I also felt a smaller one on the other side. The very next morning I started to feel like crap. I had all the covid-19 symptoms other than the coughing. I was horrible all weekend and into the next week.

Monday I took a covid-19 test, assuming the worst.

Tuesday the left side of my face was bothering me so much -tender and painful, that I went to the hospital. They could find nothing viral going on with me, no mono, no strep, no flu, yet I had a fever, chills and body aches. They tried to give me an IV but after several failed attempts I told them to stop – I was just too dehydrated. They had to take a CT of my neck without contrast. My blood work was fine other than my white blood cell count being extremely low.

The CT showed that basically the whole lymph node chain on my right side was enlarged, as well as those under my chin, and also on the left side where I had the most trouble near my cheek. I was told to quickly make another appointment with my PCP, who got me in the next day and referred me to a blood cancer specialist because of the very concerning turn of events.

Just check out what the Mayo Clinic lists as some of the symptoms of both lymphoma and multiple myeloma:

So here I am. I have been an emotional roller coaster for the last few days. I’ve somewhat been through this before – as I have had a breast lumpectomy for a tumor back in 2016, but this is far more serious in my opinion. Let me be honest, I’m scared. Not sure what to think, or do, or feel. I’ve been trying to focus on God and lean on him, but to be honest sometimes it’s been hard. Pray for me ya’ll. This is one more storm I did not want to have to go through right now. I’m ready for 2021 already.

The most reasurring thing about it all is that I know my family has my back. My mom has been checking on me constantly, lol. I even had to laugh about it earlier today. My grandmother is super supportive and so has been my step-father. My daughter is quiet about it all, but that’s just how she is. I know with loved ones by my side things will be just a little bit easier.

So, Ive decided that I am going to document my journey here and possibly on youtube as well. I am not sure where this is going to lead, but I feel like the best therapy for me will be to share my new experiences with anyone who will listen. Perhaps that will include you?

If your still reading then God bless you. Please pray for me and I will pray for you. We all need to pray for each other, right?

‘Till next time,

xoxo tj