I think a lot of us grew up in homes where there were certain things you weren’t supposed to use. There might have been good dishes that only came out for holidays, towels nobody was supposed to touch, furniture that seemed to exist primarily for decoration, or candles that remained unburned because they were apparently too nice to actually light. Sometimes there was even a room that looked beautiful but nobody really spent much time in it. Everything was being saved for company, a special occasion, or some mysterious future day when using the nice things would finally become appropriate.

I understand the thinking behind it. When something is expensive, beautiful, or difficult to replace, we want to take care of it. Previous generations also didn’t necessarily have the same access to inexpensive household goods that we have today, so taking care of special possessions made practical sense. I still believe in caring for the things I own. What I question is the habit of protecting something so carefully that I barely get to enjoy it myself.

I have done this with more things than I would like to admit. You buy something nice and decide you are going to save it. Maybe it is a perfume, a handbag, a beautiful notebook, a piece of clothing, or even a bottle of something you have been waiting to open. You tell yourself you will use it for the right occasion.

Then the right occasion apparently never sends an invitation.

The perfume sits there. The notebook remains empty because your ordinary thoughts don’t seem important enough for such nice paper. The outfit stays in the closet because nowhere you are going seems worthy of it. Meanwhile, time passes, styles change, bodies change, products expire, and eventually the thing you were protecting isn’t even something you particularly want anymore.

That is the part that has made me rethink the whole idea of saving the good stuff.

There is nothing wrong with keeping certain things for special occasions. Anticipation can make an experience more enjoyable. Christmas dishes feel special partly because they aren’t used in July. A beautiful outfit can be more exciting when you have somewhere meaningful to wear it. I don’t think everything needs to be used constantly.

What I don’t want is to spend my life treating ordinary days as though they aren’t worthy of anything nice.

Most of our lives are ordinary days.

If I am waiting for a special occasion before I use something I love, I am limiting enjoyment to a very small percentage of my life. Birthdays come once a year. Holidays come a few times. Vacations end. Most mornings are simply mornings, and most dinners are ordinary dinners.

Maybe Tuesday is enough of an occasion sometimes.

Wear the perfume to the grocery store. Drink coffee from the mug you are afraid someone will break. Use the pretty notebook for an ordinary grocery list if that is what you feel like writing in it. Burn the candle. Put on the outfit even if dinner isn’t particularly fancy.

Enjoying something doesn’t disrespect it.

Sometimes using it is the reason you bought it.

I think there is also a deeper mentality underneath our tendency to save things. We can become so focused on preserving something for the future that we forget the future isn’t guaranteed. I don’t mean that in a dark or frightening way. It is simply true. We don’t know exactly how our lives will change. We assume there will always be another holiday, another dinner, another trip, or another perfect opportunity.

James 4:14 describes life as a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. That verse can sound heavy, but I don’t think its purpose is to make us afraid of living. I think it reminds us not to become arrogant about time. Tomorrow matters, and planning is wise, but today is the part of life we actually possess.

That applies to more than material things.

We save words too.

We think about telling someone how much they mean to us, but perhaps we don’t say it because it feels awkward. We plan to call someone later. We tell ourselves we will visit when things calm down. We keep postponing lunch with a friend because there will always be another week.

Those are also good things we save for someday.

I think about how often people say beautiful things about someone after they are gone. They talk about how funny the person was, how much they helped others, how talented they were, or how deeply they were loved. I always wonder whether the person knew all of that while they were here.

I hope they did.

Flowers are beautiful at funerals, but compliments are more useful when the person can hear them.

Maybe enjoying the good things while we can also means being more generous with affection, encouragement, time, and attention. Tell someone you appreciate them now. Take the picture now. Plan the lunch. Make the phone call. Use the gift instead of keeping it perfectly preserved in a box.

This doesn’t mean living irresponsibly as though tomorrow doesn’t matter. I still believe in saving money, taking care of possessions, planning for the future, and delaying gratification when necessary. There is wisdom in all of those things. “Enjoy your life” shouldn’t become an excuse to spend every dollar or ignore responsibilities.

The balance is learning the difference between preparation and postponement.

Saving money for retirement is preparation. Refusing to ever enjoy any of the money you worked for because you are afraid to spend a dollar can become something else. Taking care of an expensive handbag is reasonable. Keeping it wrapped in a closet because you are afraid to use it defeats the purpose of owning it.

There are possessions I want to keep beautiful, but I would rather they eventually show signs that I enjoyed them than remain perfect because I never did.

Maybe that is another reason this matters more to me as I get older. Time begins to feel less theoretical. When you are young, someday seems enormous. There will always be time later. As the years pass, you become more aware that life is made up of the days you kept assuming were ordinary.

I don’t want to look back and realize I was always preparing to enjoy my life later.

My faith reminds me that gratitude is not simply saying thank you for what I have. Gratitude should sometimes look like actually enjoying what I have. Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 speaks about enjoying the good of our labor as a gift from God. There is something freeing about that. Enjoyment doesn’t have to be frivolous. Sometimes it is an expression of gratitude.

I can take care of something and still use it. I can plan for tomorrow and still enjoy today. I can appreciate special occasions without treating ordinary life as though it is merely the waiting room between them.

Maybe the good dishes don’t need to come out every night. Maybe the expensive perfume doesn’t need to become my everyday fragrance. There can still be things we reserve for special moments because that is part of what makes them special.

I just don’t want everything good waiting for a better day.

Sometimes the people sitting at the table tonight are worth the good dishes. Sometimes the ordinary dinner deserves the candle. Sometimes there doesn’t need to be a reason to wear something you love other than the fact that you woke up and wanted to wear it.

Life will provide plenty of occasions worth celebrating, but I think we are allowed to create some too.

Use the nice things. Take the trip when you reasonably can. Tell people you love them. Wear what makes you feel good. Open the gift you have been saving. Make the memory before everything is perfectly arranged.

Someday is a wonderful idea, but it has one serious disadvantage.

Today actually showed up.